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This article is about pencils, a type of pre-historic ooze that squelched out of cracks in the protozoa of the time. It was comprised mostly of richard Gere's DNA, spliced with that of Pamela anderson. It's Chemical name, bollocksius crapola, is derived from the combined talents of the two individuals from whom the DNA was taken.

Pencils are boring. They destroy morale and must be kept out of the reach of children. Never leave a pencil unattended. Pencils are high maintenance and explode when exposed to sunlight. Declare war on pencils. Pencils are the root of all evil.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pencil

I disagree with the exploding in sunlight part. Actually I have a soft spot for the dastardly implements - especially the 0.9mm variety.



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